Jonathan Smith is a web designer, graphic designer, and photographer in Harrisburg, PA.

I had an interesting talk with my dad yesterday. Last week I called him to discuss my decision to sell the BMW F650GS and buy a BMW R1100S. I wanted his opinion. Afterall, he influences my frugal ways. He basically said it was not a good idea with our economy and that I should save all of my money.

Yesterday I called him to discuss something completely different. But he stopped me and said he wanted to tell me something. He said I should buy the bike. My mind and heart filled with emotion. He said that everything that I  “need”, I already have taken care of. He said that I’m responsible and I really don’t go out buying many things. He followed this up by saying that I am still relatively young and that I should buy the bike if I really want it. Because as we get older, we lose the ability to enjoy those moments. He reflected back to the time when he was younger and he really wanted to buy a new chainsaw. Finally, he bought it and it made him so happy. In fact he still has that chainsaw today.

I did my homework on the purchasing decision. My motorcycle payment will basically stay the same, or possibly be less. And the loan is for a shorter length of time than my current bike.

It also made me feel good when he said I blew up his cell phone. His phone died when we talked last week. He said we haven’t talked that long about anything since I was a kid. It was kind of a bonding moment for the two of us.

In my attempt to purchase a BMW R1100S I immediately contacted the bank which I have my current BMW motorcycle loan through. Currently Jonestown Bank has the title to my BMW F650GS. When I was buying it, they offered the absolute best interest rate. Within a few hours I received a call that I was approved for an auto loan for a 2002 BMW R1100S at 8.2% interest rate for 48 months. Awesome!

But then I thought I should check with my current bank just to see if their interest rates have changed. I use Members 1st Credit Union which is actually located in the parking lot of where I work. I checked out their web site which shows auto loans for “2004 and older Vehicles” at 7.89% for 48 months. That was fantastic news!

I went through the loan approval process with Members 1st and was excited because I could have the payment deducted from my direct deposit which would lower my payment even more. After receiving a call from the loan officer he explained that because the motorcycle I wanted to buy was a 2002 they would not consider an auto loan and instead would only offer a personal loan at 10% interest rate for 48 months. He said if it was a 2004 or newer it would be an auto loan. So my question is, why do they advertise “2004 and older Vehicles” on their web site for auto loans? Sounds like false advertising to me. Or do they not consider a motorcycle a vehicle? Last time I checked I need to register my motorcycle with the state, get it inspected, and have insurance just like any other vehicle.

I remember one year ago very clearly. It was Easter of course and I had no plans at all. Until an unexpected photo shoot with Nikiya Palombi appeared out of nowhere. So I travelled to Lebanon, PA for a few hours.

Upon my arrival home I had an unexpected phone call from Alejandra. Yes, the girl who I had fallen in love with but seemed to have been kept at arms length for an unknown reason. She was at City Island with her sister who was visiting from Venezuela. She asked for me to come walk with them and meet her sister. It was a nice day and I enjoyed meeting her sister and walking around with her.

A year later I look back and ponder the events that have taken place since then. Soon after that day I learned of her relationship with a man from Chile which was the reason we did not speak very often in the few months before then. I guess if you speak Spanish as your primary language, then seeking a partner who also speaks Spanish is a good trait.

By late June we had started working on our relationship which I had hoped was going to lead to great things. We both had talked about living with each other and even marriage. I thought things were finally falling in to place for me. Well, they were falling, but not in to place like I had expected.

I ignored the red flags that had been popping up. Looking at creating a life with her and her son I found myself trying to find solutions to many things. Providing a place to live for all of us, health benefits, and everything involved with sharing one’s life with another. All of my solutions and fell on def ears. I was basically asked to sell my house, pay for all of the rent for a two bedroom apartment in Camp Hill, and let my daughter sleep on a sofa when she comes to visit. All of this because Alejandra wanted to go to school to become a dental assistant and did not want to work full time while in school. And she did not want to live in Harrisburg even if she could live with me for free and put her son in a private school. Well, I tried.

Then Thanksgiving day it ended when she became extremely upset when she learned that my daughter was coming to visit and spending the night at my house. Why? I have no idea. That was the last straw for me. For someone to ask me to give up everything and not respect the relationship I have with my daughter, and to not want to try to build a relationship with “us” was just too much.

It has been about 4 months since we talked. I often ponder how I came so close to settling down, yet it so quickly fell apart. Anyways, I just wanted to reflect on the past year because these things were on my mind and I didn’t want to leave them there. I wanted to get these thoughts out.